Many who have chosen a homosexual lifestyle quickly refute the idea they have chosen to be homosexual. In fact, many claim to have been born with homosexual desires and cannot choose which gender they are attracted to. The reasoning behind this argument is unclear, for it is not in favor of the homosexual lifestyle.
If one accepts the idea of homosexual desires being formed in utero, then one must also accept the idea that all sexual desires are formed in utero. So then, we must ask ourselves if our society is required to value all of the various sexual desires a person could be born with? If we accept/condone/celebrate some of the, so called, “born with” sexual desires, then our society must be consistent and accept/condone/celebrate the practice of all such “born with” sexual desires. Yet, our society is inconsistent in that it expects those who have certain “born with” sexual desires to choose not to live out such unethical, immoral, and unlawful acts.
After seeing how poor an argument it is for one to claim having no choice over their sexual desires, perhaps we should take a look at alternate explanations. For example, is the idea of “born with” sexual desire supported by empirical data?
The Human Genome Project has mapped the entire sequence of human DNA of which, the proposed “Gay Gene” has yet to be found. Ironically, even if a “Gay Gene” did exist there is no chance of said gene even to be passed along, for offspring are the result of heterosexual practices. The gene itself would have to emerge into existence from nothing, which is beyond the realm of science. In some very rare instances, new genes have formed from pre-existing genes that experienced a mutation. Which means in the process of replication one or more genes were transposed incorrectly causing a mistake to be written in the genetic sequence. Perhaps, if geneticist were to ever find a “Gay Gene” it could be explained to have arisen due to a mistake, but again, this argument is not in favor of the homosexual lifestyle.
Another example supporting the idea of sexual desires being acquired post utero is in regard to sexual abuse. Psychologists are in agreement that many of their homosexual clients have shared the fact that same sex attraction began after an instance of being sexually abused as a child. There are numerous scientific journals that confirm what psychologists have stated by producing empirical data showing an increased propensity of same sex attraction in adults that were sexually abused as children. Published by the Journal of General Medicine, a study entitled Childhood Sexual Abuse Among Homosexual Men, showed that 35.5% of the homosexual men who participated in the study admitted to being sexually abused as children. The empirical data is overwhelmingly in support of same sex attraction being triggered by post utero factors. If this is the case for homosexual desires, we must conclude the same for all sexual desires.
If data and research point to sexual desires being a product of post utero factors, is it possible to choose a sexual lifestyle that is not reflective of sexual desires? Time and time again, studies show men to have a higher sex drive than women. Heterosexual monogamy is a choice that is in direct contrast with the fact that men desire sex more often than women. If there were no negative effects of being a lifelong playboy, monogamy rates would be presumably lower. Heterosexual men and homosexual men both choose monogamous lifestyles; not only for the benefits of monogamy, but also to avoid the negative effects of broken hearts and disease acquired by playing the field.
Throughout the centuries, and across most religions, men and women of deep conviction have devoted themselves to their faith by choosing to be celibate. The desire to engage in sexual practice in order to procreate is a biological factor that is empirically supported to be “born with” of which is acquired in utero. Yet, many religiously devoted people have chosen a non-sexual lifestyle that is non-reflective of their “born with” sexual desires. We know these people are not anomalies who do not possess sexual desires, for inconsistencies and sexual scandals arise frequently. It is quite clear that those who are celibate have chosen a lifestyle that is non-reflective of their “born with” sexual desires.
Humans have a biological propensity for “born with” sexual activity which is empirically verified to be acquired in utero. However, we develop our unique, personal sexual attractions in response to post-utero environmental and relational factors. No matter what our sexual desires may be, we all make the choice of how such desires are reflected in practice.
So…does your sexual lifestyle choice come with negative effects or positive effects? Are you willing to give up desires in order to reap the benefits of choosing a lifestyle that is non-reflective of such falsely touted “born with” sexual desires?
I chose to walk away from my actual “born with” sexual desires of being a playboy and chose to be a monogamous, heterosexual man. Do I still desire to play the field? Yes. Do I feel sexually frustrated at times? Yes. Is it comforting that I never worry about STDs? Yes. Is it wonderful to grow old with one other person who knows me deeply? Yes. Is there something about a woman’s sensibilities that compliments my male behavior? Yes. Is it beautiful to look at my children and see genetic echo-ings of not only myself, but my wife and the many other people I love in my family tree? Yes.
You can choose to chase desires, or you can choose what will be most beneficial. Is it tough to give up sexual desires and commit to something else? Yes, but there is truth in the phrase, “No pain, No gain.”
Personally, I have friends who identify as LGBTQIA and I love them. We get a long and we spend time together getting to know each other. It seems that they care about me too and I feel loved by them. Do they follow Christ? No. So, I am there for them and I invest in them as any good friend would. My hope is that someday they will come to Christ and HE will soften and change their heart.
With that said, I will never affirm my friends’ LGBQTIA lifestyle choice in the light of the Gospel. No reading of Scripture could ever affirm such a lifestyle, so if they ever do come to Christ and to a respect of Scripture; then and only then will I lovingly show them that Christ followers are called to sexual purity within the bounds of what Jesus so lovingly shared.
Perhaps this video, highlighting the author C.S. Lewis, will bring a bit of light to this topic.